Feb 21

5 Reasons To Wait Until You’re Married Before You Have Sex

Category: ,


1. Sexually Transmitted Diseases ruin many parties especially sexual parties. Life is not a lot of fun when you go pee and it burns like fire is coming out of your penis. Imagine getting ready to pull down your pants and having massive amounts of warts all over your crotch. I bet you’re lover would be turned on by that for sure. He or She would be all about getting some of that contagious love! Fuck what if you get HIV?!?! Ahhh you’re basically dead or will be in 10-20 years!!!

2. Having sex too early in the relationship with someone usually rushes you into boyfriend/girlfriend hood. If you don’t really know if you even like the person yet and you’re pushing your love device against that other person it usually makes the other person think you really like them. I don’t know how many times I did that, sleep with a girl and kind of date her for two weeks then realize she bugged the fuck out of me so I needed to end it. I was a stupid 21 year old!!!

3. If I found out today that I had a secret love child aka baby with some girl from my past that I couldn’t stand I’d be so depressed. There’s a handful of girls I slept with that I wish I never had. So, imagine having a baby with a girl you don’t like and can’t stand. You’re basically stuck with her the rest of your life. Ahhh child support!!!! I used to hook up with this one girl would in the middle of love time would be smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer, ha ha she was a real winner!

4. You’ll go to hell if you have sex before you get married! Everyone knows that! God gets so pissed at people having sex before marriage and has no other choice but to send them to Satinville. The only way of redeeming yourself is by sleeping with your local priest!

5. You should wait to have sex until you get married so you can perfect masturbating because after one year of marriage or after having kids sex will be non-existent. If you become a pro at masturbating you’re set for a life of self happiness!

What did I forget?

gso

17 Comments so far

  1. Lime February 21st, 2007 3:40 am

    i broken this wait some years ago…my life is an highway to hell…

  2. gregg o'connell February 21st, 2007 5:45 am

    lime: you love AC/DC!!!

  3. Wormbrain February 21st, 2007 7:52 am

    We’d be interested in knowing what prompted this post, hmmm Greg?

  4. dirty February 21st, 2007 7:57 am

    If I didn’t have sex before I was married then I probably wouldn’t have gotten married.

  5. gregg o'connell February 21st, 2007 8:05 am

    Wormbrain: ha ha no I don’t have any babies (that i know of) nor do I have an STD (that i know of)
    so all is good..i was just lackign ideas of what to write about :)

    dirty: one word for you “Ohio”

  6. dirty February 21st, 2007 8:44 am

    That’s how we roll Gregg…you can’t deny my awesomeness.

  7. gregg o'connell February 21st, 2007 8:54 am

    dirty: you’re awesome like the tallest building in Ohio!

  8. dirty February 21st, 2007 9:04 am

    And I live in a house…not a trailer.

    My awesomeness is above and beyond my friend…

  9. gregg o'connell February 21st, 2007 9:33 am

    dirty: above the clouds and beyond california?

  10. dirty February 21st, 2007 9:52 am

    Abso…effing…lutely!

  11. Lime February 21st, 2007 10:53 am

    when i was 13 I listening sometimes AC/DC…GREAT VOICE…and great sound….

  12. you miss me February 21st, 2007 11:39 am

    If I didn’t know that you don’t give a crap about me I’d think this was a personal attack on my morals or lack thereof.

  13. gregg o'connell February 21st, 2007 12:13 pm

    you miss me: I would never attack you! I only attack the weak and sick and you my dear are much to strong!

  14. Julianne_b February 21st, 2007 12:25 pm

    i didn’t wait till i was married but i also married the man i lost my virginity to…

    can you at least look at the package before you buy it, not take it for a test drive, but imenat look at it to see if you at least like the model??

  15. Erica February 21st, 2007 1:49 pm

    What? Gregg’s got a love child and a STD??? Sucks for you mofo!!

  16. The Boob Lady February 21st, 2007 3:27 pm

    Don’t you have sex now Gregg? You aren’ t married!!!

    JEZZEBEL!!

  17. gregg o'connell February 21st, 2007 5:07 pm

    julianne: God may be pissed at you but he also may not since you married him…hmmm

    Erica: you love kids and std’s!!!

    boob lady: i use my left hand everyday to write cursive

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