Answer this poll as if you weren’t able to take any kind of medicine to help you with your depression or anxiety. Enjoy this heart warming Friday poll

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and comment and why you chose what you chose!

**UPDATE**
Simon = Mike Honch
Randy = Dirty
Paula = Xtina

Blogger Idol begins April 2! Submit your blog for consideration by posting a comment on this post.

I’m kind of afraid to admit that I’m addicted to American Idol. Yes, I know it’s glorified karaoke and it’s cheesy beyond anything in the world, but it’s the cheesiness that makes it so interesting to watch.

After watching American Idol, Randy, Simon & Paula I got to thinking that the blogging world should have “Blogger Idol”. I know that there are websites out there that review blogs, but I don’t think there is (I don’t know b/c I don’t feel like looking b/c I’m lazy and it’s 5:47 am) a website that does what American Idol does but for blogs.

I could be Simon (the mean, nothing impresses me judge) , some other guy could be Randy (the cool wannabee hip and used to be really fat but is now old and has stretched out skin judge), & lastly someone could be Paula (the judge who has something positive to say about everyone no matter how much they suck).

My idea is we the people of my website pick 25 blogs and then me and the other two judges narrow those 25 blogs down to 12. After that you my vistors vote for what you think is the best blog and the blog with the lowest number of votes for that day gets kicked off the “Blogger Idol Island”. It ends with 1 blog and that blog gets to be recognized as the “greggoconnell.com Blogger Idol”. In what will surely become one of the most prestigous prizes in all of the internet and world!

What do you guys think? Bill Kutters your opinion doesn’t matter so suck it! Who wants to be Randy? Who wants to be Paula? Sign up now by commenting and also submit a blog by adding the link in the comments section. Just fucking say something in the comments so my site looks somewhat desirable

Thanks,
Simon aka greggoconnell.com

Playing Uno online is one of the most fun social games on the Xbox 360. If you don’t know what Uno is click here. I’ve been playing Uno like mad lately in my quest to be ranked as one of the best Uno players ever!

My friend Bill thinks I’m a complete loser for playing Uno online with people that I don’t really know. He thinks Uno is meant to be played in the regular card form way and not digitally online. I think I’m a cool dude with a bad attitude. No, but really I think Uno was meant to be played online with people you don’t know all across the world. It’s a great way to talk to people from other countries and states and find out how much they really know about America and how little you really know about their country. America must really be the epicenter of all things in the world because these people know shit loads about us.

You play with up too four people at any given time and you even get to use a webcam. If it wasn’t for the webcams the game might be kind of boring. I’ve only been flashed once and luckily for me it was by a girl. There’s no way you’re getting flashed in a real life game of Uno. That might be kind of nasty if you’re playing Uno with your grandmother and all of the sudden she goes and flashes you with her old saggy boobies.

As I inch closer to immortality and the holy grail that is being the #1 ranked Uno player in the world I find solace in the fact that I’ve never worked harder for anything in life than being the #1 Uno player in the world. I’m currently ranked 8,929 in the world out of 300,000 players. There’s no way to claim your fame of being the best Uno player in the world if you’re only playing with your family. You might be the best in your family but you’ll never know who truly great an Uno player you are until you pass me on Xbox Live!

I just wanted to get the word out to the world of my friends recording studio. He calls it D-Fab Studios and it’s located in South Park. No, not the South Park where Cartman resides, but the South Park in sunny San Diego.
He’s prices are very good at only $25/hr to record and $25/song to master. His studio is all digital and here is a list of some of his gear he uses.

Gear

2 2.66 ghz dual-intel
Xeon
dual monitor (19″ samsung widescreen lcd, 17″ samsung
lcd) 2 GB of Ram

G4 1.5 Powerbook

Sony VAIO desktop

Digital Performer 5.0

Cakewalk Sonar 3.11

Cubase LE

Presonus Bluetube dual pre amp
Kenwood amplifier
Teac RW-CD22 CD recorder
Lexicon MX -200 Dual reverb effects processor
DBX 266XL Compressor/Gate
Idrum (virtual drum machine)

Third party VI’s: Native Instruments Intakt and Future loops, MOTU MachFive/MX4, U-he Zoid, Moog Modular V 2.0, Izotope Spectron and Vinyl, Spectrasonics Atmosphere and Crystal.

Yamaha MG 10/2 mixer

Yamaha MG 16/6 mixer

Behringer B-Control

Presonus Firebox

MOTU 828 MK II

Presonus HP 4 headphone amp

Behringer Ultrapatch Pro

Alesis 3630 Compressor/Limiter/Gate

Behringer DualFX Pro

MOTU Fastlane

MXL 990/993 mics

Shure SM57

Audix i5

Rode NT1-A

Sky SDM-788 mics

KRK Rokit 5 monitors

Alesis Monitor one MK2 monitors

Sony MDR-7506 Headphones

AKG M80 headphones (4x)

Roland RS-5 64 voice synth

Boss DR-550

M-Audio Keystation 49e

2 old Gemini turntables

A fairly large sample library from Time and Space

If you’re an independent musician who is looking to record an album that sounds radio ready then email my man bryan@dfab020.com.

gregg

Mr. Mike Honcho my real life stalker wanted me to add this poll for like 3 weeks now, so here it is psycho!

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Is there something you’ve been dying to ask me, but you didn’t know my email address so you couldn’t? Now is your time to be like that sweet ass Barbara Walters and ask me the question on everyones mind…Are you really the same person in real life as the way you write? Ask me anything except for my address, social security #, bank # or credit card #.

Post a comment asking a question and I will respond to it in this same post!

1. Joe aka Bill Kutters asks: What is someone going to do with your bank account #? You have no money… Thanks for the first question of the day William. Well I do have money and I just don’t share it with you because you stopped putting out like you used to. Why pay money for something if it doesn’t pay any dividends. It’s all arbitrary anywho!

The following 4 questions were submitted by Dirty
2. How many cavities do you have? I’m not sure since I haven’t been to the dentist in years!

3. Favorite movie? My favorite movie is Goonies, b/c it gives me a good feeling. I love mountain climbing and mountain biking down large hills and Goonies gives me the same feeling. Borat is a terrific flick as well!

4. Favorite song? This changes daily but right now my favorite song would probably be “Dashboard” by Modest Mouse but that will probably change tomorrow when I download some other song…

5. What really goes on in area 51? Hmm I don’t know nor do I really care but probably a lot of Alien experiments. Sorry my answer wasn’t very funny

you miss me must really like that Tom Hanks movie
6. California breaks off as an island & you can never return to the mainland: list 5 things you take as the big wave knocks over your shack-I mean apt. (other than pets, girl & electronics-keep in mind there is no electricity on the island!) Is there even anything more to life than pets, girls & electronics? I’d bring a bag of clothes and shoes, a couple bottles for water, a razor to shave my face and package, my bed so I wouldn’t have to sleep on Palm tree leaves & a hammer so I could build stuff like a log cabin.

Lime has a foot fetish obviously!
7. what’s your favorite shoes? I’d have to go with Jack Purcells by Converse. They look good with everything and totally hipster indie rawk! They aren’t very comfortable so for comfort I’d go with New Balance 574!

The Captain seems to be a regular Connie Chong with the hard hitting questions he submitted!
8. Does the crazy/retarded dude from Goonies remind you of anyone here at work??
Hmm Sloth = that dude with no neck! right?

9. Will you come out and have a shirley temple at my bday happy hour this year?
Yes, if Emily allows me too..j/k Em!! Yes, Captain I’d love have a sugary drink with you!

10. Are we going to still exchange X’ gf’s? You can date any of my ex’s I on the other hand am happily involved with a older woman that can order out food like no one ever before!

11. Would you rather hook up with a good looking dude or Rosie O’Donnell? Hmmm I’d have to go with Rosie. She still has all usable woman parts. I just don’t know if I’d be able to set sail with her naked next to me.

12. Would you get drunk and put the video on your website for a large sum of $$? Kind of like your 1st time for the world to see… Yes, it just depends on how much money they offer me. Start the collection now! Get me a nice booty!

Travis is full of blood, organs, water and himself!
13. How much does Travis, from howtokillpeople.com, rule? He rules as much as
george Bush rules in America!

Erica must be either drunk or a work high from answering all those phone calls in a timely manner!
14. What would you do if I became rich and famous and you weren’t? If you became rich and famous I’d kind of expect you to take care of me financially through working for you. I’d also expect you to help put Herbie through Canine College. Plus you could make me a famous blogger done done done!

Dirty with the dirty mind!
15. When are you going to propose to Emily and have baby Greggs? When Emily allows me to have sexual relations with her and drops the whole religious Jesus thing

Gregg

Time sure has a way of making you look different or maybe it’s just the shitty food you eat over the years that makes you fat. Then you realize it’s time to lose some weight and you begin to bring sexy back to yourself. Don’t let the weight loss and gain in these photos trick you because I never lost my dance moves, sense of humor, appetite or destructive nature. I’ve always been and always will be the same Gregg I was back in 3rd grade. I dunno if thats a good thing or bad thing but it sure is true!

6 Year Old Greggie Pooh


15 Year Old Grunge Boy

16 Year Old Wannabee

21 Year Old New Adult

21 Year Old Rawkr

22 Year Old Emo Boy

23 Year Old Uncle Gregg

24 Year old long haired hottie

24 Year old Rawkr

25 year old Gregg

25 year old shirtless

26 Year Old Longboarder

26 Year Old Holding My Nuts

27 Year Old

27 Year old Rawkr

Mii in a video game

What’s up with weekends lately? They seem to just fly right by without me being able to enjoy them. It’s like work is over on Friday, I go to sleep Friday night and wake up and it’s Monday morning?!?!? Am I the only one who feels like this besides Emily?!?!?

Has the government been fucking with not only daylight savings but also weekends?!?!? My biological clock is getting more fucked up than an Orson Welles movie with all these discrepancies in time! Weekends I need you to last a little longer. Give me the feeling that you’re really 3 days and not that feeling of 3 hours!?!?!

What happened to the days when you were in grade school and weekends seemed so long and special. Saturday morning cartoons, afternoon bouts with GI Joe and Chef Boyardee and evenings of Coke and microwave popcorn. Sometimes the weekends were so long I’d actually get kind’ve bored and want to go back to school to learn more…NOT!

I don’t know if you housewives know what I’m talking about by the weekends going by faster than a line of coke at a rich kids party, but they have been! Does life at home include weekends or is it always a 7 day work week? I feel for you…

I’m wondering if there is anyway to prolong the weekends? Yes, I could call in on Monday or Friday, but that kills a PTO day. If I could work four 10 hour days a week and have Monday or Friday off I totally would. Or if I could work from home that’d be doper than winning $5,000 in the state lottery!

I miss you weekends! Please come back!

Love,
Gregg

I don’t know his name, where he’s from, where he lives or what his favorite color is! What I do know is I call him “The Securinator”. He is the head security guard at the establishment I call work and he is a complete douche bag. I’ve seen this guy in some awkward moments. Moments where most people would need to go through some counseling. Let me tell me a few of these awkward encounters.

Most of these memorable moments happen when he is in the bathroom. I went to use the urinal and there’s “The Securinator” with his false teeth spread out on the sink as he gurgled water and mouthwash. I had to take a double look to make sure I saw what I thought I was seeing. Who does that shit? It’s fucking gross…No one wants to see your false teeth out in the open for everyone to admire. He acted like a complete professional about it to not even saying like “Oh sorry for having my teeth on the counter” or making some lame joke like “I’m getting ready for the tooth fairy”. Thanks Securinator!

Whenever someone is in the bathroom dropping bombs in the toilet, 90% of the time it’s The Securinator doing it. He’ll even grunt “Uhhhhh”. In the middle of dropping bombs one time my buddy walked in the bathroom, 2 seconds later The Securinator’s cellphone rings. He was arguing with his girlfriend about something why he dropped bombs! This guy is multi-talented! Drops bombs, grunt and talks on the phone all at once. Who does that shit?

What tops this guy off is his main job is to walk around the parking lot and look for cars that are illegally parked or on the line. He’ll actually write up warnings and tickets to a car that is like barely on the line. This is the type of guy who acts all hard at work and takes his job way too seriously because he was probably the guy everyone picked on in school. Now he feels like he can be a hard ass because he is a security guard.

He loves staring people down. He’s always staring at my friend Bill & I as we walk through the doors. He sees us every day and still acts like we are fucking terrorists! If The Securinator is ahead of you and uses his badge to get into the door and you’re right behind him he won’t hold the door for you, he literally lets it slam shut. Who does that shit? I should’ve called this post “The Securinator - Who Does That Shit?”.

Do you or have you had a security guard where you work, live or shop that was a dickhead?

gso

I put in for some PTO (Paid Time Off) from my blog. I’m going to take at least 1 day off, maybe even 2 days! I’m in need of some refueling. It’s kind’ve like Adam Sandler making really good movies all the time, it just doesn’t happen. There’s going to be some duds in there. The creative juices just tend to get a little dull.

I think the days of me blogging 5 days a week are over. I’m going to cut down to 3 or 4 days a week. I haven’t made a cool funny video in a while either, so I need to do one of those along with helping out some of my favorite charities.

Anyone want a Shirley Temple while I take some time off?

gso

I love the extra hour of sunlight to do more of the things I like to do that require sunlight like surfing the internet indoors with the sun beating down in my face through the window, looking outside to see if the UPS guy is outside & looking at the sun directly. Gone is my seasonal depression and now I need to get back that hour of sleep I just lost.

Here in America, Congress passed a law to push up daylight savings time by 3 weeks. Did they realize this totally fucked up my internal biological clock? I’m not talking my biological clock that informs me that I need to try and make a baby, but the one that informs me of when I’m tired. The first work day after daylight savings time should allow us to go to work 1 hour later to make up for the lost sleep. The thing is I don’t want to work an hour longer, so I think we should still get out at our regular time.

USA is the only nation doing this so to my Canadian honeys you girls are lucky. In fact you’re probably sleeping still dreaming about me naked with my Wii in front of my private parts. Here’s to sleeping, so raise your glass and toast to needing an extra hour of sleep!

If you want to learn more about daylight savings here in the USA click here

gso

We almost broke up a day ago,
I called you “The Nanny” and hurt your ego,
your voice doesn’t fit the photos you show,
maybe it’s not you but some other bimbo.
I love you like a mom that I met on the internet,
it’s too bad we can’t have sex b/c that would be cyber incest.

If I LOST you now my comments would suffer,
My traffic would stop, my site would go under.
You’re like a lady from Ohio with red hair and some kids,
I wish I were one of them so that I would be kin.
Dirty’s your name I just add the “Nanny”,
lets try to make up and kiss like we’re family!

Dirty Nanny, will you still be my internet mom?

love,
gregory shane o’connell-dirty

I must have at least 5 internet friends and guess how many birthday voicemails I received? 5? No! 4? No! 2? No! I received 3 birthday voicemails and they were all from girls! Where’s my male on male action love? Lime? Mike Honcho? Bob Jones? Travis? It was a Vagaterian voicemail convention with no sausage allowed!

I did get 3 voicemails from Julianne B, Dirty & Boob Lady. The best of the 3 was definitely from Julianne. She sang and made me feel like I had something to live for. That turning 27 wasn’t a death sentence, but more of life sentence!

Dirty’s voice for me doesn’t really match the way she looks and I’m wondering if it was really even her?!??! The voicemail makes her sound like that lady Fran Dresher or however you spell it from that TV show The Nanny. Dirty I love you no matter how you sound!

Boob Lady had the sexiest voice, it cross between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Young, but mature and kinda phone sexy hot! She should seriously think about doing steamy hot phone conversations for the greggoconnell.com phone network!

Click below to listen to the birthdays voicemails

Thanks for Everyone that called. I was also hoping for some birthday voicemail love from Punky, Q of D, RSM, Xtina, WormBrain, Dave Tuetken & maybe even someone famous. If you want to leave me a belated birthday voicemail, the # is (619) 377-0593.

Good Day,
gso

Yesterday was one of those days for me where you don’t feel like talking to anyone. One of those days where you don’t feel like being at work, but you have to be. One of those days where you feel like playing music and rawking out with your hair blowing in the wind and your tongue hanging out. Yeah one of those days!

The lottery is $350 Million and I raised the question to some people at lunch asking would they work if they won that kind of money and they said they’d still work! Isn’t that the whole point of winning the lottery to not work ever again and do all kinds of fun things like go to the Bahamas and overdose, visit a brothel in Nevada & buy all kinds of new toys?!?! Life was not created to just to go to school and work for 70 years. It was created have fun and do the things that interest you most. Now if I could only figure out how to financially do that without having to work….any ideas?

I needed to win the lottery yesterday! Sometimes I get so sick of the hearing peoples same old stories and problems. I want something new sometimes in life, but I also like the same old thing. Maybe, it was just “one of those days” for me. Life would be cool if we worked for 6 months in our bland old normal life than got to do whatever we wanted for 6 months like be rawkstars or something. I think I’m itching for a change. A move to San Francisco? Full Time Rawkstar? Full Time Blogger?

Here’s a video of Erica and I singing the other night

Do the internet Gods hear me?!

gso

Turning 27 is kind of scary, my favorite musician of all time died at 27 years old - Kurt Cobain. When he died in 1994 I was only 14 years old and 27 seemed so far away, old and mature. I’m 27 now and I still feel like I act 14 years old. I still like all the same things that I did back then; video games, music, playing music, girls, animals. The big difference of me then and now is I used to play basketball on my Junior High team. The only exercise I do now is walk-run my dogs.

I’m now in my late 20’s and a hell of a lot closer to 30 than 20. It’s kind of scary how fast life goes and how all the people in your life constantly change. I don’t talk to one person on a consistent basis from my childhood. OK, so I didn’t have any friends when I was a kid and my imaginary friends hate my guts now because I’m a successful blogger, but why should they discriminate against me? I created them damn it! I feel like I have a group of core friends (2 or 3 people) that I always communicate with, but then I have this other group that is always revolving. I’m such a bad friend ha ha.

If I compare the way I looked at 21 years old and now at 27 years old, I’ve lost that baby face and gained about 20 pounds. It’s not that hard to watch yourself age because it happens so gradually that you barely see it happen, unless you’re like me and love having photos of yourself, especially in compromising poses. If I think of how I’ll look 6 years from now at 33 I figure I’ll have some more wrinkles on my face, be bald, 20 lbs heavier than I am now and with a lot more responsibility. Kids? Marriage?

If you guys would like to wish me an audio happy birthday, please feel free to call my hotline at 619-377-0593 or you can send me an Apple Gift card by clicking here.

Birthday Party Photos

The Birthday Boy,
Gregg

I woke up on Saturday morning at 7:30 am. This is actually really late for me since I usually wake up at 5:00 am on weekends. I had turned off my computer the night before as to not accidentally just start using my computer and the internet. I laid in bed like a young boy waiting for his mom to bring him breakfast except in this case I was waiting for Emily to bring me breakfast as I lay in bed watching TV. Emily brought in a plate of scrambled egg whites, Kashi waffle & a bottled water.

I finished breakfast, took a shower to clean off my lean(er) man body & we headed out the door to Mervyn’s and Target. I bought a pair of jeans, button up short sleeve shirt and some sweatpants at Mervyn’s. I got some household cleaning products at Target and we then headed to Subway for lunch. After Subway we headed home. We basically didn’t leave the house from 12:30 pm -5:15 pm. I sat on the couch watching A LOT of TV. Not using the internet was actually pretty easy. There were a few times I’d be bored watching TV and walk in the room and then suddenly remember “Fuck, I can’t use the internet”, but other than that it was easier than hooking up with Dirty.

I don’t think I would want to voluntarily not use the internet again for a day. I use the internet for so many real life things like banking, directions, reviews on restaurants, porn, music, movies, mail order brides (sorry Em I gave away your secret) & just about anything else. Maybe every weekend I should give up one thing I do all the time, kind of lent. I;m not even religious, but God would be so proud of me!

gso

I know how near and dear I am to everyones heart. My 27th birthday is coming up on March 6. If you’d like to contribute to the greggoconnell.com birthday fund to help him get an apple computer you can go here
and order an Apple Gift Card (if you don’t already know my address email me at greggoconnell@gmail.com) and support the dream of Gregg O’Connell to finally get his dream Macbook computer.

With your support we can make greggoconnell.com the best blogger in San Diego! Thanks for making a birthday boys wishes come true!

God Bless You! (whoever just sneezed)

gregg o’connell

OK, so today is my last day of being able to use the internet before March 3 “Don’t Use The Internet Day”. I’m sitting here watching American Idol as I type my final blog before hell freezes over and I am stuck thinking of all the websites I’m not going to be able to check. Here’s a list of 6 websites I visit almost every second of the day!

digg.com
joystiq.com
Engadget.com
pwresource.com
gmail.com
mail.yahoo.com

Have you even watched the American Idol episodes where they kick the kids off who didn’t get enough votes? Well, the ones who get kicked off have to sing right after finding out they are getting kicked off the show. Some start crying and can’t sing after they just find out the devastating news. I might not cry on Saturday, but the loss of the internet burns like it would getting kicked off of American Idol.

Please feel free to leave me with well wishes and ideas of what I can do on my free time away from the internet. When I come back to my own personal heaven I will give you my thoughts on how things went.

I love you guys!

gso