Jun 25

Apple Sauce is Sold Out..WTF?!?

Category: , ,


Dear Target & It’s Customers,

My favorite place to buy groceries is Target. I’ve said that probably like 47 times or so. I don’t know if I have this huge fan base in San Diego and everyone of my fans is going into Target and buying all of my favorite things to eat. This brings me to apple sauce because apple sauce is a necessity for me to take my vitamins in the morning with. I have trouble swallowing those big throat chokers so I use the apple sauce to let them easily slide down my throat. Now all you guys know I can’t swallow (wink wink..you know I had to throw a gay reference to myself somewhere in this blog).

Tell me please who the fuck is actually buying apple sauce these days? If someone is buying it then what are they buying it for? Pork Chops and apple sauce?!? Come on Peter Brady said that back in the 70’s! Are there millions upon millions of people who can’t swallow pills so they use apple sauce?! Especially the people in San Diego do they have this localized problem of swallowing things so they buy their apple sauce at Target.

I like the apple sauce that Target sells in these plastic jars because the apple sauce flows easier out of the jar compared to the glass jars. Also the apple sauce doesn’t get stuck as much on the rim of the jar compared to the glass jars. 1 out of 10 times that I go to buy apple sauce at Target the shit is sold out. If they have anything in stock its that crap thats in the glass jars. That just doesn’t cut it for me. I have sensitive lips & and a sensitive throat. I only buy apple sauce at most maybe once every 3 or 4 weeks. That gives Target plenty of time to stock up on the plastic jarred apple sauce. DO IT! STOCK IT UP! KEEP IT STOCKED! KEEP YOUR STICKY FINGERED KIDS AWAY FROM MY APPLE SAUCE, THEY’LL JUST THROW IT UP ANYWAY!!!

Why don’t you just buy it at the grocery store? FUCK YOU DUDE! HAVE YOU SEEN THE PRICES AT THE GROCERY STORE FOR APPLE SAUCE?!?!? It’s like $4/jar. Target it’s only like $2.29/jar. I barely ever go to the grocery store anyway. Target’s my grocery store. For whoever is buying my damn apple sauce at Target either buy the glass jarred kind or go to the grocery store and get it because you’re fucking with my patience and monotony.

Good Day Sir!

Gregg

22 Comments so far

  1. Lime June 25th, 2007 5:22 am

    i don’t realluy like apple, any kind…sauce, juice, jam, pies…etc…
    i like peach….i love peach…pesca…pêche…Pfirsich…Presseguer…Prunus persica…melocotón

  2. gregg o'connell June 25th, 2007 5:54 am

    lime: apples are my favorite fruit!
    i was just about to send you apple juice for your birthday!

  3. Lime June 25th, 2007 5:59 am

    ahahahaha…awsome i’ll show it in my room…so do u remeber it?

  4. gregg o'connell June 25th, 2007 6:04 am

    lime: no when is it?!

  5. dirty June 25th, 2007 7:34 am

    I don’t like apple sauce either. You are like a little kid crying about your apple sauce.

    My birthday is soon. I’ll be 22 again.

  6. emily June 25th, 2007 8:12 am

    i wanted to participate today, but i just don’t know what to say… a whole post about applesauce?

  7. gregg o'connell June 25th, 2007 8:13 am

    dirty: apple sauce and cranbery sauce are delicious!

  8. gregg o'connell June 25th, 2007 8:26 am

    emily: applesauce is a intrical part of pill taking for thousands of americans like myself that are between the ages of 18 and 54

  9. Erica AP June 25th, 2007 9:58 am

    Where you drunk when you wrote this?

  10. gregg o'connell June 25th, 2007 9:59 am

    Erica: dude i dont drink….but i was pissed off…isnt that the same as drunk?

  11. Erica AP June 25th, 2007 10:59 am

    No - other wise I’d be a pretty unhappy girl.

  12. gregg o'connell June 25th, 2007 11:52 am

    Erica: you are unhappy arent you?! :P

  13. Ben June 25th, 2007 5:17 pm

    I must have been drunk when I read this. Target is bunk dude! IGA always has all the apple sauce I need! The girl in green has the best expression ever.

  14. Wormbrain June 25th, 2007 5:38 pm

    Are you running out of things to complain about or does this really bother you?

    Expand your horizons, shop somewhere else.
    Buy it in bulk

  15. gregg o'connell June 25th, 2007 7:16 pm

    ben: IGA sounds like a bunk grocery store..Target’s got bomb prices!

    Wormbrain: i’m pissed off about peeps buying my apple sauce!
    doesnt food get u pissed off at all?

  16. julianne_b June 26th, 2007 12:40 am

    woah

  17. Wormbrain June 26th, 2007 6:10 am

    By golly, you’re right!

    I myself get really upset when I am denied a meal for any reason, or if someone talks to me while I am eating. These are metaphors for the same problem you are having.

    I retract my previous rude comment and wish you well in your quest.

  18. punky June 26th, 2007 8:12 am

    no post about the sox game?

  19. gregg o'connell June 26th, 2007 8:24 am

    julianne: its called teenage angst

    wormbrain: sexual frustration? :)

    punky: give me some time..im a busy guy

  20. punky June 26th, 2007 8:27 am

    haaaaaahahaha “busy guy” Thats funny Gregg!

  21. Ben June 26th, 2007 1:08 pm

    IGA has super Carne Asada and all the Apple Sauce you ever want. Plus the check out girls are super flirty~ which might deal with Wormbrain’s issues also.

    Mess’n with that Target shirt will fuck you up dude… I read somewhere that the Target dog is a robot!

  22. gregg o'connell June 26th, 2007 5:34 pm

    Ben: Target is be all shop all that anyone will ever need. its the superstore everyone can love

Leave a comment