People seldom leave me speechless or better yet breathless. Well maybe a few girls in my life have left me breathless, but that’s all in the past and this is the present. I recently attended Comic Con. Comic Con is a convention that is held every year in San Diego and it has everything from comic books to action figures and video games to upcoming movies and TV shows. It truly a geeks paradise. You see people dressed up like their favorite Star Wars characters, huge massive boobs hanging out everywhere, Jack Sparro & a lot of other things.

You probably don’t know Alex Albrecht like I know him. I first noticed him on TV when he got a job on what was then known as The Screen Savers on G4TV. He was witty, crazy, smart & more energy than a 42 oz Coke. He got fired and eventually ended up on one of my favorite podcasts Diggnation.
Diggnation occasionally does some live shows at bars in California. They did one show in San Diego which I attended like the nerd I am and had a great time.

Anyways lets get to the point of my story and what Comic Con, Alex Albrecht & me being left breathless all have in common. While I was at Comic Con with my buddy G-Dix and his daughter Batgirl we were about to leave when all of the sudden I heard an all too familiar voice behind me. I turned and looked and what did I set my eyes and ears upon but none other than Alex Albrecht. I’ve always wanted to get my photo with Alex and his co-host on Diggnation Kevin Rose, but never have. This was my opportunity!
I said “Hey Alex!” and he was like “Hey whats going on!” As I walk up to him my breathing becomes deeper and deeper kind of like if you had just run 2 miles…I barely mustard up enough air to say “dude I love your show Diggnation!” He’s like “oh thanks, are you enjoying yourself?” I’m like “Yeah there’s a lot of video games here this year compared to last” and he naturally agreed with me.
I eventually caught my breath but by that time the conversation had ended, I had gotten the photo I had so wanted and the moment was over.

I’ll always cherish that time I spent with Alex and I will never forget it. He seems like a totally cool fun guy with no attitude. I like that about semi-famous people when they don’t act all weird and cheesy. You get that shit from a lot of musicians. Musicians act so fucking weird its cheesy!

gregg

I’ve been a fan of reality shows ever since The Real World on MTV. They started off so good and so real. The late 90’s with Survivor really brought reality shows to the masses. Then after that it seemed they had a reality show for everything. They even had a fake reality show called Joe Schmo where the main guy didn’t know it was fake! It was so fucking hilarious and over the top. It was like the movie “Truman Show” except this was actually really funny.

Now it seems reality shows have past their prime and are heading into very dangerous waters. Waters that have sharks, squid & electric eels. I hate to say this, but reality shows are becoming “overly staged”. They are so fixed now and I can’t understand why except for the fact that maybe just maybe when they try and do the real true thing that people won’t think its interesting. For instance have you seen “Rock of Love” on VH1? It’s basically the same show that Flavor Flav had a few years back where he dates a bunch of girls all at once and eliminates them one at a time until he is left with his one true love. Well “Rock of Love” stars the cheesy 80’s rocker Bret Michaels from the band Poison. They didn’t waste anytime in being fake on this “reality show”. The very first episode there was this girl that was banished from the show with about 5 other girls before they even got to step foot into the house. After a few hours of all the girls being in the house this one girl who got kicked out, arrived back at the house only to be confronted by Bret Michaels bodyguard. She’s crying, pleading & saying she’ll do anything, It was so rigged. Come on you’re telling me that they don’t have security pro trolling the grounds of the estate in order for no one to get onto the property. Not only was the girl allowed back in the house, but she was also the most crazy, over the top, drunk, slutty, annoying, entertaining girl out of all of them.

The most real reality television show on TV today is “The Real World” on MTV. They let the kids do whatever they want which always seems to be drinking, fighting & fucking, but hey thats what we like! I truly honestly can’t think of another reality show that doesn’t do something thats fixed or planned! I will of course continue to watch it. but for how long remains the answer especially when I can only take so much of college attending, Abercrombie & Fitch wearing, slutty whore on “The Real World”.

gso

I once was the king
before all of my dids
you bowed and you kneeled
like Michael Jackson makes kids

if I were a tree
my name would be Christmas
now you’ve all grown up
and forgotten about Santa

I’m a fucking disaster
I’m running out of ideas
my blogs almost deceased
like a mummy in a pyramid

WHAT!

There’s always the people at work that always have gum, candy or some other kind of snack at their desk. That’s when their desk becomes a designated rest stop for all other employees. The employees that stop at these peoples desks do nothing, but take take take! I am one of these rest stops at my job. I ALWAYS have gum at my desk and anyone who is anyone that I work with makes it a point to stop at my desk and take my precious gum. I go through about a pack a week. If you’re like me and frequent Target everyweek you’ll know that gum doesn’t come cheaply especially after the great gum base debacle in South America. It costs $1.99/3 pack. That’s expensive if you do the math times 52. It’s something like $35/year in gum. That’s like working 2 hours a year just to pay for gum.

What am I whining about gum for? Don’t I have anything better to write about? Fuck no I don’t have anything better to write about! Plus There’s this one guy at work that always takes my gum and never replaces it. I don’t want to say any names so lets just call him Bill Kutters (stupid made up redneck name right?). Well “Bill” makes it his Godly duty to stop by my desk at least 3 times a day to steal a piece of my precious gum. I’ve tried pressuring, bullying, flirting & blackmailing Bill into replacing what he steals. He venomously will not comply with my request. So one day while I was running low on reserves for gum I decided to play a trick on that tall, skinny, cheap motherfucker. I took all the gum out of the package and inserted two little sticky notes with a friendly little saying as you can see in the photo in this post. Next time he’ll know not to fuck with my gum without replacing.

gregg

I didn’t even know exactly what Ranch Dressing was comprised of until I wrote this blog. It contains some of my least favorite ingredients like mayonnaise and stinky smelly vinegar. Here’s a ranch dressing recipe I found here.

1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup buttermilk
2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon vinegar
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon finely chopped fresh dill
1/4 teaspoon finely chopped fresh parsley
1/8 teaspoon onion powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 dash of paprika

Ever since I’ve been paying attention to what girls eat which hasn’t been very long it seems to me that they all love ranch dressing. They dip chicken tenders, french fries, vegetables, chips, fingers and anything else fried in ranch dressing. They order extra ranch dressing so they don’t run out of ranch dressing. They have cravings for ranch dressing and the cravings don’t go away until they have a little ranch dressing all in their mouth and on their lips. I bet girls would even order alcoholic drinks if there was one made with ranch dressing.

I can’t figure out what girls love about ranch so much? There’s nothing guys like so much besides tits and ass. You can’t name one food guys crave, JUST TRY!!! I guess I need to lay the question out to the ladies. Why do you LOVE ranch dressing so much?

gregg

Do you see the photo in this blog? Well I woke up this morning and took my dogs out so they could do #1 and #2. On our way back to the house I saw vandalism in it’s most cliche form with graffiti all over the front wall in front of my house. The jackass spray painteed his name and some other shit I couldn’t read. If I was the one doing the graffiti I think I would’ve spray painted some kind of poem, a favorite song lyric or maybe something like “You should never graffiti anything especially private property”. I’d play reverse psychology and shit because I’m fucking crazy like that!

Let’s analyze the vandalism/tag for a bit and try to figure out what the initials mean.
O.B.F. = Organic Banana Fan, Ole Bitch Face, Oily Baby Feces or Ostrich Bastard Fighter

1502 = I did a little research and it seems they are big fans of Christopher Columbus because this is the year he landed on Costa Rica. They sure are cultured Vandalistic Thugs who paid attention in history class.

F.C.C = Federal Communications Commission. I saw the F.C.C. thing and thought wow the freaking government is now tagging peoples property, but why? I finally came to the realization that they are looking to control me and my blog by tagging my property! Fuckin A they are crazy bitches!

The other two things written on the wall are illegible to me? Got any ideas?

The wall was cleaned up at about noon today leaving a fresh new canvas for the vandalists to come back and tag that mutherfuckin wall up again! Have fun assholes!

thx,
gregg

I thought I’d take in the excitement and Patriotism that is Independence Day and prolong it for a week. I’ll be back to blogging this coming Monday with a post about something that all women love. In the meantime enjoy this photo of my great, grandparents from Gammalstorp, Sweden and my great grandfather’s father Walter Christopher Morin with his brother and sister from 1897.

I’ve been tagged! Here are the rules: each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to then report this on their blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. They then need to tag 7 others and list their names on their blog. They are also asked to leave a comment for each of the tagged, letting them know they have been tagged and to read the blog.

So here are 7 random things about myself:

Before I start to list 7 facts I’d just like to say: Fuckin’ A Punky whats the dilly? I was just about to blog about why I love mini schnauzers!

1. When I am practicing with my guitar I play in front of the mirror and make my best rockstar faces and poses!

2. I write left handed and have sex left handed but I throw right handed and bat right handed!

3. My favorite Spice Girl is Scary Spice. She’s fucking hot and sexy like a sexy girl! She screwed up by having a baby with Eddie Murphy. He just seems like a dickhead doesn’t he?

4. I work for a Brokerage company processing mutual fund transfers. What does that mean? It means I sit at a desk all day commenting on my blog and emailing people on gmail.

5. At present moment in my life I am most attracted to Asian Women. I think it’s because they are small like little….uhh yeah I’ll stop there and just let you imagine what I might be thinking!

6. A lot of people think I’m an asshole when they first meet me. Once they get to meet me they find out how awesome I truly am.

7. I talk my mom and dad each about once a week. Can you say that? You bad children!!!

Is there anyone in this world like me who feels bad for those animals that show up at these traveling fairs? It’s one of the saddest things in the world to see those animals be put on display for humans to look at, ride or pet. Animals weren’t meant to be put onto traveling side shows and do things that they most likely really don’t enjoy doing. For instance they have these elephants and all day long these elephant get rode by 3 or 4 people at a time and walk around in a circle. This shit needs to end! Do sticky fingered little fat kids really need to ride an elephant? I should be an animal activist because those sweet animals need a voice like mine protecting them.

Don’t forget about the 2,000 lb cows in a 6 foot by 6 foot cage? We really treat animals horribly! When God gets his white hands around our naked necks after we pass away, he will surely strangle us til we die one more time and go to hell. The next time you go to the fair don’t go visit the animals. If you see an entire family riding an elephant make sure to yell at them obscenities and throw red meat at them.

gregg