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What is Twitter?

Twitter is for staying in touch and keeping up with friends no matter where you are or what you’re doing. For some friends you might want instant mobile updates—for others, you can just check the web. Invite your friends to Twitter and decide how connected you want you to be.

You can follow some of my old commentors/bloggers on Twitter
Punky
RockStarMommy
Steph
Dirty

It’s really a simple question and sometimes people have some really great names. My iPod’s current name is “Greggpod”. Pretty creative eh? In the past I’ve used such names as “Mr. Bubbas” & “Gregg O’Connell’s iPod”

Sooooo what’s your iPod’s name? Share some love.

Gregg

I was born on March 6, 1980.

Where have I been? Fucking A where’ve you been!??! A lot has transpired since the last time I blogged. Lets start off with the biggest and best thing to have happened to me. I am now the proud owner of an Apple Macbook. How did I get it? Well I got some Apple Giftcards which helped and the “handshaking” didn’t hurt either. I feel so trendy and cool now with my Macbook. I feel like I need to get a Prius and start using and consuming all natural organic products. You know what I just found out about microwave popcorn? Well I’ll tell you! The butter that is used in the microwave popcorn causes lung cancer. Workers and consumers that have been around it or consumed it for many years have developed lung cancer from it! Crazy huh?! This little story goes hand and hand with my wanting to consume and use all natural products! Next time you buy microwave popcorn make sure its some all natural hippy name brand!

For Christmas I went up to the Bay Area and celebrated Christmas with my girlfriend and her family. We visited a few towns up there and my favorite this time had to be Los Gatos, CA. The trees, the shops, the people. I absolutely love it up there. Plus I saw like 30,000 Toyota Prius’. Everyone up there is so youthful and full of organic products.

Enjoy the bad sweater photos

do you really want to fuck with this thug?

For the last couple of weeks an impostor “Gregg O’Connell” or as they call themselves “greg oconnell” has been infiltrating my blog with lame ass comments and non witty remarks. Here’s a sample of some of the said comments

“Hell yeah! Pass me that keystone baby… and some of that buddha too! (wink wink) If you catch my drift. You know buddha was a man of HiGh MoRaLs!!~!~!! :p

-the REAL Greg O’Connell”

“hell yeah! in the name of boobs, sure! Ive been reading your blog, and its hilarious! ESPECIALLY your replies to those commenters!”

It seems the “plastic gregg o’connell” likes to say “hell yeah” which are two words I wouldn’t be caught dead saying unless of course I WERE THE FAKE GREG OCONNELL!!!

Here’s some facts we know about the fake “greg oconnell”

their internet service provider is “Charter Communications” and they live in or nearby Athens, GA. Their IP address gives me this information. I live in San Diego, CA and my internet service provider is Time Warner aka Road Runner.

I’d love to call up Robert Stack (if he weren’t dead) from Unsolved Mysterious or even John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted to solve the mystery of the fake greg oconnell. Since both of those men won’t answer my phone calls for obvious reasons I will therefore beg for you my audience to help me out or even the fake greg oconnell. If he or she will give us a clue or two of who they are really are. Also why do you feel the need to be me besides the fact of how awesomely unordinary I am.

THE REAL MUTHAFUCKIN’ GREGG O’CONNELL!

There’s really only one thing I want. An Apple Giftcard. Sure I asked for the same thing last year but when it came time to using them instead of trying and getting a Macbook I ended up buying an iPod Touch. This time without any shadows or doubts I AM I AM I AM getting an Apple Macbook.

If you’re getting me an Christmas present which if you are reading this then you most likely are then you can get me an Apple Giftcard of any denomination. Like those infomercials for starving kids say “Every little bit helps”.

Apple Giftcard

If you need my address greggoconnell at gmail dot comjust email a brotha!

Merry Christmas,
Gregg

Creamy Butter Beer

Cape Cod Pizza from Brockton, MA

$5,000 cash in my bank account so I can feel safe from the skeletons in my closet…

Breakfast Burrito…yum!

To be a Rawkstar instead of a processor.

To be a golden God.

To be able to fly over rooftops with my friends like Peter Pan

To be a pillar of the community

To be in bed right now sleeping with my puppies.

I’m finally moved out of my old place and into my new apartment. When I first knew I was moving out it seemed like I had so much time to go before I was out. Then out of nowhere I had to leave my home of 3 years and go to a new unknown paradise. OK enough of the sappy shit and onto the good gooey shit!

My new place is kind of cool, and kind of strict! Lets start off with the bad stuff and end on a high note. This place has more rules than an elementary school. You can’t put certain things on your deck like we pt up this bamboo wall and the next day we had a letter on our door informing us we need to take it down. These are the kind of rules where you want to just keep fucking with them to make their life a living hell. Fuck authority! haha I’m crazy!!! There’s not really any extra parking. We get 2 parking spots but we have 3 cars. Street parking sucks more than a 16 year old girl!

The good? There isn’t any..ha ha OK I kid I kid! The best thing….I have a freaking heat lamp on the ceiling of my bathroom to keep my little white body warm when I get out of the shower or when my bum gets all wet from pooping in the toilet. I have air conditioning, washer and dryer, dish washer & a much bigger place!

Whens the party? Soon! Do you want to come?

gregg

P.S. I’m tired thats why this was short and never very sweet.
sleepy gregg

I grew up and lived in Massachusetts for 24 years of my life and never have I seen such destruction to property than I have with these fires going on here in San Diego. I am fine, my house is fine and so are all my friends. The fires are about 15-20 miles from my house and 10 miles from where I work. I can smell smoke and see smoke in the air around my house. Where I work the air is so thick with smoke that is hard to breathe. I had a headache, dry eyes and throat and couldn’t breathe very well all day yesterday. In the building it smelled like old cigarettes. You know when someones been smoking in a room and leaves their cigarette butts in there then closes the door? Well imagine that smell all day in an entire building…YUM!

You can track the fire here

Yes, I’m alive!
Yes, I’m ok except for the occasional headache, dry nose and throat..
Yes you can send me donations if you are worried about me to my paypal address LazyGregg@yahoo.com

love
gregg

Watch these 5 TV shows this fall like I do and you’ll be 5 steps closer to bringing your inner Gregg O’Connell out.

1. The Office: easily the funniest TV show on period. Fuck Yeah I spelt period and then dotted with period cause that’s how freaking serious I am about this show being the funniest.period.!

2. Kimora Lee Simmons - Life in the Fab Lane: The one and only reason to watch this show is because she’s a sexy, ruthless, it’s my way or the highway kind of girl! She’s taller than giraffe and sexier than a sheep!

3. Dexter: This dude is amazing! He’s a serial killer who kills serial killers. He’s funny and it’s all blood and guts! I love seeing blood especially on TV because it brings me closer to feeling more comfortable to go see the doctor and get blood drawn.

4. Tell Me You Love Me: Young people sex, middle aged people sex, wicked old gray pubic hair people sex & oh ya relationship problems This show is very engaging even if you haven’t ever had a relationship problem with anyone in your life like me. The best part of the show is the young woman who wants to have a kid but can’t….She’s as sexy if not more than Kimora Lee Simmons! Whoa!

5. Californiacation: I wasn’t a huge David Duchovny until I began watching this show. All he does is have sex with girls, act like a complete rebel & waste his artist ability away. Sounds like me!

My band The Predicates have a new album “Wicked Smart” for sale at only $6.99 on MP3 and $9.99 on CD!!!

Click here to buy and preview the album!

In 2004 I moved from Blackstone, MA to San Diego, CA - Point Loma to be exact. I’ve lived in the same place for the entire almost 3 years that I’ve been here. Come October 27 I will be moving out of this faithful humble home and into a luxurious 2 bed/2 bathroom A/C, Washer/Dryer, Dishwasher apartment in the plasticville world of Mission Valley. Mission Valley is still in San Diego so don’t worry I’m not leaving San Diego yet!

I decided to move because Emily had been wanting to move for some time now and also because my friends Cathy and Zdenek just moved out to California and wanted some roommates. Who are better roommates than me and Emily. In a way I’m kind of sad to leave Point Loma and this little apartment I currently reside in. I’ve had lots of good times here like when I brought Yoshi home for the first time, I had sex for the first time here & I wrote a lot of really awesome songs. Moving out of a place is kind of like breaking up with a girl. It’s sad but kind of exciting. You’re going to miss it. but you’re also excited about seeing some new stuff. If you know what I mean…do you?

If you need/want my new address email me and if not than keep on dreaming about my pretty backside.

gregg

In what was being planned for several months in advance, Q of D and greggoconnell.com were to meet face to face, eye to eye, crotch to crotch for the first time ever in “real life”. Q of D was planning to head down to my stomping ground of San Diego to enjoy a fun filled weekend with her girlfriends. They were to indulge in many different kinds of alcohol, sweets, salty snacks & the freshest seafood around. EricaPutis.com & I were to meet up with Q of D in Mission Beach on Saturday night where she was staying at her $5,000/night suite.

I texted Q of D early on Saturday Night that we would be meeting her at her suite at around 5 or 6 pm. She responded with much hair spray queeness “Rock on, see you soon!”. Great I thought, this is going to work out well and should be fun. Hell I was thinking to myself maybe I’ll even get some scandalous photos of her doing something crazy that I can hold for ransom that way I can get that new Apple laptop I’ve been longing for. As 6pm rolled around Erica called me and said she was running a little late. I then sent another text to Q of D telling her that we would now be there around 7 ish. She again responded in all her 1980’s hair metal madness “Rock on, hurry up!” Her tone in this second text seemed a bit more aggressive and dare I say “drunk”.

Erica & I had a little trouble finding her suite so I had to call her a couple of times. During one of the call for directions she asks “Is Erica OK with me being completely drunk…” I was like “Yeah she loves drunk 30 somethings….so no worries”. We finally found her place. Now remember I literally called her the last time maybe 5 or 10 minutes before we actually got there and she was pretty coherent and not too slutty sounding. We arrived at her suite and she wasn’t outside like she previously said she was so I called 5 TIMES!!! Left a voice mail and nothing. After waiting for seemed like a day or two she finally calls me or so I think. All excited and ready to party like any non-alcoholic drinking male I respond with much excitement “HI, STEPH (her real name)!!!”. The voice that responded shortly after was like “Uhhh this is her cousin Jennifer and Steph is kind’ve not able to come to the phone…SHE’S PASSED OUT DRUNK!”. My heart sank and my dreams of scandalous photos and a new Apple laptop sank into my stomach as I’d just eaten an onion from Mexico that’s contaminated with one of the field workers poops.

I woke this morning and received this email from Q of D

“Hey guys,

I am so sorry about last night. When 5PM passed and we hadn’t seen you, we kind of figured that you might not come and we kind of cut loose, so the condo owner (who lives behind the unit we were renting) started bringing out bottles and bottles of wine. Do I need to tell you what happened?

In short, by the third (or was it the fourth?) phone call I was actually asleep in bed. Ok I was passed out. I didn’t even know my own name. I am sooooooo sorry.”

Q of D you owe me…a hug, a handwritten apology letter, a scandalous photo, a hamburger, a hot dog & a date in the future. I’m hurt, visibly shaken and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust anyone else again, especially a blogger in her 30’s.

Sleepless in San Diego,
Gregg

I recently purchased an iPod Touch via selling my Nintendo Wii. I’m a sucker for anything new and exciting in technology especially if Apple makes it. If you don’t know what an iPod Touch is you’re a freaking lame ass, non-tech news watching, cockface gremlin!

It’s basically (thanks Bill Herzog for that word) an iPhone without the phone. You don’t know what an iPhone is? God you’re fucking useless on earth and should just go live in the woods and trap helpless raccoons and rodents and live off berries an bark! Everything you do on the iPod Touch is by touching the screen (except hitting the Home key). You type on the screen, you slide on the screen, etc. I really fucking love it and makes me feel like I have a reason to live again. I don’t think Apple thought they were saving peoples lives when they created the iPod Touch. I totally had my suicide letter written, along with my will on paper, but once I saw the iPod Touch I burned both of those pieces of paper in my Marble in cased fireplace.

I can surf the internet, watch Youtube videos, do my math homework (calculator), watch movies and TV shows, look at photos, listen to music, buy music wirelessly & a couple of other things. It’s the most fun wireless device since my mom got me a dildo iPod video 2 Christmases ago.

I made a video for you enjoyment and envy. you’re welcome!

gregg

And you thought I was just some no-name blogger with a cute face! I’m obviously more versatile than you thought. My photos are now as infamous as my words.

I received an email from an artist by the name of Lee Wilde.

“Hi Gregg

I thought you might find this amusing…I did a painting based on your photo, “Thizz Face” which you posted on Flickr. I’m afraid it does not look much like you anymore…I was more interested in trying to capture the expression.”

I think the painting kind of looks like me an Italian wise guy mobster doesn’t it?

gregg

I went outside to let my dogs go the bathroom and I saw Herbie smell something so I decided to look at what he just smelled. It was none other than 2 wrinkly middle aged dollar bills. It’s kind of cheesy, but I always dream of finding a large wad of cash on the ground. You know like $5,000 or something. Sure, it’s probably drug money, but with that drug money I could pay off some bills, buy a new computer, get some new clothes, pay some people back & even drop a couple dollar bills on the ground! Maybe I’d even give some of you cockface gremlins some of it if you did something to deserve it like make a naked video?!

I remember in my childhood finding $5, $10 & even one time a $20 bill, but nothing thats going to help me retire soon. Where do you think “large wad holders of cash” lose their money? They probably lose in strip clubs and casinos not suburban San Diego neighborhoods at the end of streets where dogs go pooh?!?!?

Well with the newly inherited $2 I’m going to buy my dogs some doggie treats since Mr. Herbie Schnauzerberg found it! Or maybe I should find the rightful owner? Put my flyers and post it notes on cars to see who lost $2!

gregg

I’ve been working on my cuss words and phrases a lot lately and I’d love to share some of them with you

instead of calling someone a “dickhead” you call them a “Cockface Gremlin”. Pretty cool huh?!

Instead of the regular boring way of saying “Asshole” you say it like my mom who has a very thick Boston accent “Ahhsshole”..go ahead try it out..felt good didn’t it?

Instead of “Fuck” how about saying “Fuckah” haha Emily told me this one yesterday and its quite splendid. Say it with a FOB (Fresh Off the Boat) accent though!

How about this one “Asshat” Does that sound like the meaniest word anyone could ever call you?! haha thanks Trevor!

What are your favorite cuss words/phrases?

gregg

I’ve been trying to grow my hair out for what’s been like 3 months now and the motherfuckin shit still hasn’t reached my eyes. When you don’t want your hair to grow it grows faster than Peter North and when you want it to grow it grows slower than my bank account. Where’s the love from the hair Gods?! Maybe I need to go outside and make a sacrafice to the hair Gods, but what kind of sacrafice would they want? An old comb? a bottle of hairspray? Shampoo? Conditioner? A slutty young woman? A pimple faced teen? WHAT!? WHAT?! WHAT!? I KNOW WHAT THEY WANT!!! A Wig! What man or woman doesn’t want a long blonde wig?! I know I’ve wanted one before.

I can’t go on living in this “in between” hair stage. I’m trying to put the rawk in my hair and instead it looks like I’m trying to make Ben Seavers mushroom cut come back into style. Or was that ever in style? Either way I need it to grow about 3 inches longer! I’m such a torchered soul.

gregg

Well as the unofficial last day of summer (Labor Day for USA) has come and is about to end things are about to change. It’s kind of like the first day of school for you. You’ve got your new clothes on, new sneakers, new haircut, new books, new homeroom, new everything. My blog needs something new! Soon to come will be a new design, new banner, new photo, new blogger idol?!?!
This new design will all come in due time so hold your fucking horses you cock face gremlins!

You know what sucks? My fucking laptop! It’s lame and I’ve been itching my crotch for a long time now for a Apple Macbook. I’m going to take some a major drastic steps to fucking get one! What am I going to do you ask? I’m selling my Playstation 3, Nintendo Wii, old cell phone, cable modem, used ball smelling underwear, etc…. haha that last one was nassssssssty!
What can you do if you don’t want to buy a piece of my history? Well you do know that I make money if you click on the google adsense banner links over on the right hand side of my page right? Click’em!!! I’ve accumulated $89.00 and they pay after $100!
Don’t be a cock face gremlin!!!

Welcome back to school! and make sure to go see my band The Predicates play!

gregg